Date Day

This past Friday we had date day with our babies!

I got to go to the movies with my lil man who stole my heart.

 Blake and  I went to see the movie HOP with his and Mommy's best friends. He was so excited to go and I was pretty excited too. This was Blake's first movie in the theaters. I was originally going to take both kids but daddy made it home from work early and we gave Bella the choice and of course she ran into Daddy's arms. So off Blake and I went....We stopped by Starbucks to get a treat. Blake from his seat saw the poster for the cake pops so he screams "mom Blake wants, pink ball. Blake LOVES balls! haha. As if he's had these before, he cracks me up. So yes I ordered him the pink one and mommy the rocky road one and I highly recommend these. YUM! We got to the theater and I got him a kids pack and he was so excited to sit in his own chair with his own popcorn and soda. He also brought Buzz lightyear on our date, which was adorable. He sat him right next to him and offered him popcorn but no soda!

Blake did fabulous in the movie. He only got out of his seat to stand for about the last 20-15 mins but even then he did great. We came home and ate lunch together and took some fun pics together.

I love being able to spend one on one time with my babies. I feel like their personality really just comes out and shines. Blake was talking up a storm to me and Buzz. He was so polite and well behaved. During the movie I just kept looking over at him. And he was so into the movie. He'd laugh and say things like "oh that's funny, silly bunny" He had a smile on his face the whole time even through all the popcorn shoved in there.

Daddy got to take his Princess Rosie out

Well to start their date, Daddy let Bella watch 3 back to back episode of her favorite show Bubble guppies. He left for work at 9pm the night before and got home around 1030am and had yet to sleep. So he put on her "Buppies" as she calls them and she sat right on top of him as he napped. He said when the episode would end she would gently say "Dada more Buppies"

After the shows they went to Chipotle for lunch and shared a burrito, then of course Daddy took her to ToysRus to let her pick out a toy. He said he was trying to steer clear of the doll aisle because she has so many baby dolls all ready but he said once she saw them she RAN and picked one up and hugged it and said "baby. baby baby baby baby...." haha So as you can see from the pics above his angel got her baby doll and she has taken her new Dora baby everywhere she goes!

Bella is the biggest Daddy's Girl and it just melts my heart. After all I'm a Daddy's girl too

What a fantastic surprise

This week has been extremely hard for some reason. Monday was just not a good day for me emotionally. I snapped at my children, I snapped at my friends (sorry Mary), I snapped at my husband over the phone....I was just SNAPPY!

Thankfully yesterday was a better day for me. Woke up happier and had a good day with a great friend. And in the evening had a very relaxing and fun evening with my big brother.

But today I woke up feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. It was an extremely busy morning with lots of friends popping in and out. Which was completely fine. In no way am I complaining about it. I loved the company and conversation but was just tired and feeling stressed.

Because of all the business of the morning my kids went down almost 2 hours later for naptime. But once I got them down I enjoyed this delicious browning that a great friend brought me and a cherry Coke. It's amazing what chocolate and coke can do for a mood.

Anyways I was relaxing watching one of my smut shows (Real world, Las Vegas) When much to my surprise walks in my husband!!!!!

I was so excited and in shock because I didn't think I'd get to see him until Friday night. So it just made my whole day, attitude, mind set, etc. better! It felt like that weight on my shoulders magically disappeared. It's amazing how much just his presence makes this family so much better. The kids were happier, mommy was happier, our evening was so enjoyable. It's just such a blessing to be together. A blessing I took for granted ALL the time. I mean why would I ever think that's a blessing? When would there be a time us as a family wouldn't be together every night? Well that time is now and I LOVE and cherish the together family time we do get now.

So since the kiddos went down for their naps so late it was so nice cause Dustin and I got some much needed alone time to just talk and cuddle. Then we got to attend Bible study together. At Bible study I couldn't stop staring at him, almost like I couldn't believe he was actually there.

Blake and Bella were so excited to see him too. Bella just kept saying "dada" over and over and over again. We went to dinner after study and both kids wanted to sit by him, Bella eventually just sat on him. haha! They love and miss their daddy so much.

But lucky for us this week is a double blessing because Dustin gets to work locally tomorrow so he'll be home again tomorrow night! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna steal him away for a lil dinner date. I feel a little guilty because I know the kids miss him as much if not more than I do but mama really needs a DATE NIGHT!

Through sleepy and teary eyes

I am exhausted! Not just sleepy but so tired. DONE! I am praying I wake up with a refreshed spirit, mind, and body.

This past week I heard a lot of people tell me or comment to me.

 I don't know how you do it, I couldn't do it.

and it got me thinking, do I have a choice? I have two kids who depend on me still for pretty much EVERYTHING! Do I have a choice to not be what they need? Do I have a choice to not only be mommy but also try to be fun daddy to Mon-Fri? As a mom I think the answer is simply. NO! I don't have a choice. It's not an option. I just do it! I'm trying very hard to not just endure it, or survive it but to succeed in it.

This my same so silly to many of you, but for me this is a extremely hard and challenging time in my life. Not only do I miss my husband terribly. I need the help, the support, the encouragement, the affection, and the security he brings. Plus the kids need their daddy.

I'm worried the weekends is not enough for them. I feel so imperfect just as the role of mommy, let alone trying to fill in for daddy. It makes me sad to see them miss him so much and not really understand when I have to answer their questions of "where's Daddy" He's at work honey. "See daddy?" No not today "Tomorrow?" No not for 4 more sleeps! It breaks my heart to see their lil faces wonder why daddy isn't home. Or to see little Bella walk around the house calling out "Daddy Go? Daddy?"

God is God.

That's all I need to know. And I pray for comfort and understanding for my babies.

I wake up every day wishing it was Sat and Dustin was home already. I hate that! I hate wishing for another week to fly by. I want to be able to wake up excited about another day. Another day I am a mommy to my beautiful, healthy children. I feel like I'm stuck waiting for life to begin again once the weekend comes. I don't wanna wait anymore. I need to learn to live each day to the fullest with my children, and be extra excited about the days Dustin is with us.

Dustin's job in Blythe is temporary, and I need to stop acting like it's the end of the world or at least my world every Monday when he leaves.

Yes I will miss him, yes I do miss him. But gosh I need to be happy! Not stressed, not wishing I got more breaks, had more help,.......

God can fill the emptiness I have during the week.

God is all I need.

God is in control

My love is coming home tonight!

It's been a long week, with lots of highs and low low lows. But we made it through another week apart. I'm learning a lot about myself if a women, mother, and wife. I know God is in complete control of my life and I trust in Him completely. I truly believe for whatever reason Dustin and I needed this. It's hard to explain and I hate being apart but it's teaching us to value the short time we get to spend together on the weekends and to rebuild our relationship on communication. We have to talk on the phone, actually talk not text! It's weird to have a phone relationship but it's also some days alot of fun to just talk to my love for 30 mins to an hour. It's helping us get back to why we fell in love. And I'm thankful for that.

God is also teaching me to come to Him in my loneliness. To call upon Him when I am weak, scared, tired, frustrated, and pretty much all the time.

I was driving the other day so tired, so ready for Dustin to be home, and just in tears. I was asking God why? I'm not strong enough to do this. To be a single mom, a wife without benefits during the week. (And I know some of you might think I am being dramatic and military wives do this all the time and don't get to see their loves for months! I know this but somehow doesn't make me feel better, sorry but it doesn't. I didn't sign up for this.) Anyways so I was driving having a pity party and saying how I'm not strong enough when God so simply tells me " I know, but I am" POOF! it was like a moment of clarity like I'm trying to teach you, to let me be your strength. Stop trying to handle it all, all the time. I started crying even harder at that point and just "ok, Lord take this all and be my strength cause I can't handle this" Of course I don't seem to remember to do this ever moment of the day but when I do oh it's such a weight off my shoulders.

Plus God has blessed me with the most amazing friends. I don't say this lightly, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I am completely surrounded all the times by prayers from so many of my friends and family. I have two super close best friends that pretty much hold me up some days when I can't stand on my own. They put up with my arrogance and humble me on days when I think I know it all. I love you Leah and Sarah! I couldn't ask God for better friends.

Also I have been totally blessed with so many other friends! From my Church, to my Bible study/small group, to my family, to my moms group which is the BOMB! lol God has truly blessed my socks off with the most amazing people I can call friends. So thank you to all of you who pray for me, call me, text me, love me, and put up with my non-stop complaining.

I've been praying a lot this week to be a happier person, and to not complain so much. I feel like I talk about all the crappy stuff to much. I need to be more thankful and positive.

So that's my lil ramblings for today. I hope you all have a blessed day!