Monday, February 4, 2013

January 31, 2013

Thursday January 31, 2013
A day I will eternally be thankful for.
I came home late that night. The kids were all bathed in their pj's waiting for me to come home to tuck them in. I sat down on the couch and they instantly climbed on top of me to cuddle.
I don't really recall how the conversation started but it went something like this
Blake: Jesus lives in heaven right?
Me: Yes he does.
Blake: He lives in our hearts too?
Me: Have you asked him to live in your heart?
Blake: No
Me: You can ask Him, and then He will live in there forever
Bella looks up to the heavens, raises her hands and says: "Jesus live in my heart"
Blake then follows and says: "Jesus get in my heart."
Bella then looks at me and says: "He's in there now mama!"
Me: Yes He is, forever and ever!
Dustin and I looked at each other and smiled!
What an amazing thing to witness, so Innocent and pure.
My heart is still so full from that experience. I am so grateful for our Lords mercy and grace that saves.
"How infinite and sweet
This love so rescuing
Oh how infinitely sweet
This great love that has redeemed"

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

The gift of running

What a difference a year makes! I seem to say that all the time now.
But it's true, In just 1 year I feel like a completely different person with a different life.
Lots has changed but for this post I wanna talk guessed it RUNNING!
Last January if you would have asked me if I'd want to run a half marathon or even a 5k I would have laughed in your face and told you I'd rather do ANYTHING else!
I played soccer for all of my childhood and teenage years. LOVED IT! But there was always something to run after, the ball, the goal! Running to just run? I didn't understand the point. I needed something to chase.
But last March our Physical Therapy dept offered up a sign up sheet to do a company sponsored 5K. It was free and a race so I thought it could be fun to do with a bunch of people from work. So why not! 3.1 miles is nothing right?
 I picked up my first ever bib the night before the race. I got butterflies in my stomach and was nervous as all heck.

The race was so exciting and I ran the whole thing and finished in 34 minutes. I pretty much didn't move from the couch the rest of the day due to lack of any training but after that I had gotten the bug. The running bug!
And so my obsession for running began. I shortly after signed up to run the Tinkbell half Marathon and began my training schedule of 3 times a week with pace and distance increases.
When I go several days without running I feel anxious, I feel stressed, I feel grumpy. There is something about getting out and running everything out. Sweating and pushing through the hills and the burn. I really do love it!
I have come to realize that I have an obsessive personality. Some of you I'm sure knew that the moment you met me.
But that trait I believe can both hinder me and strengthen me. If I let myself get so focused on the number the scale says. It's literally ALL I can think about. Everything I do becomes about changing that number. What I eat, what I don't eat, what I do, how long I did, I can't focus on anything but my weight. Becomes a problem.
But running has given me a gift.
It has allowed me to still focus on a number but not on the scale. It's now about the number of miles I can run and the number of minutes/hours it takes me. Food has changed from being about pounds to being about fuel to allow my body to do what I want it to do. I hardly feel the urge to weigh myself because I don't care what the scale says, I only care about taking care of my body so I can accomplish my goals.
When I started running I was 100% sure I was going to loose a ton of weight! Well I actually weigh more today then I did last year and guess what I am so absolutely OK with it. I see the way my body has changed and muscles have become lean and toned and I love it.
My endurance has become something I am proud of! To just be able to get up and run 4 miles on any given day and feel fantastic afterwards without gasping for air is fabulous.
I am proud to say I have RAN a half marathon. 13.1 miles! That is so far. I am still blown away that my body was able to do that.
I am excited to continue on this journey and see what other amazing things my body can do.
My goal for 2013 is to run a total of 6 half marathons!
And to finish at least one in 2:30
This will be my year! I'm gonna make it count!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Debacle EXPO

If you know me a little you might know that I like to plan. I like to have an idea of how things will go down. And I like things to follow that plan as much as possible.
Well I had an idea of how Sat. before the Tinkerbell Half Marathon would happen. I'd go into work make hundreds of dollars in a couple hours (Just kidding, but that'd be nice) leave to meet Dustin around noon to drop off our babies at the Grandparents and be on our way to the EXPO to pick up all the bibs for me, Sarah, and April.
I wanted to enjoy the Expo and take lots of pictures. Then I wanted to maybe enjoy a movie with my love or grab a margarita and stroll Downtown Disney. Sounds delightful right?
Well unfortunately the Grandparents weren't gonna be home until 2:30! Oops probably should have asked them that before I planned by day.
But it's ok I'd stay at work a little longer and then by that time Sarah and her husband Nick could meet us down there so we could check into the hotel. And then enjoy the Expo together. I was still super excited.
I unfortunately got out of work a little late so I don't think we even left until 3:00pm. I expo only was going on until 5. But I wasn't worried it should only take us my 45 minutes to get there.
I was WRONG! MAD HATTER CRAZY traffic is what we hit. It was taking FOREVER to move an inch. The time started ticking away. I was getting anxious! I was texting Sarah who was also stuck in traffic and also having a panic attack. Our plan quickly changed from meeting at the hotel to going straight there to the EXPO. You see if you didn't pick up your bib number before 5. It was a done deal, you didn't race! No exceptions, no refunds. AHHHH!
Dustin pulled in front of the EXPO where Sarah was pacing back and forth! I jumped out and unzipped the suitcase to get all the forms we needed to get our bibs. I couldn't find them so Dustin jumped out and started throwing everything out of the suitcase! I by that time was freaking out!!! I had left EVERYTHING out for Dustin to just throw in the suitcase when he packed his stuff. Unfortunately he set the papers aside to put on top of the clothes but they never made it in.
Sarah and I just ran into the Expo and prayed a miracle would happen, I wasn't to worried about us getting our stuff cause we were there in person to sign and show our id's but April was in Arizona!
Luckily they had a printing station you could print the waivers! So yes I printed hers and signed it for her. 10 mins left until the Expo was over. We ran over and then they asked for Aprils ID! OMG but then I remembered she emailed it to me! I opened up my email on my phone but then remembered I deleted it after I printed it! I was about ready to cry, but I found it in the trash and showed the lady and again signed some stuff as April.
They then announced 5 mins left and we took our bibs and RAN up to the top level to get our shirts and goodie bags we made it! BARELY
After that madness we were all starving so we made our way down to downtown Disney. We needed to carbo load. We walked ALL the way down it to only realize that every restaurant was a crazy wait time. So we decided to go check into our hotel and go find an Olive Garden so we could eat lots and lots of bread and pasta.
We headed off to where the Olive Garden was supposed to be and found a ginormous mall! We drove all around it and finally asked someone and they told us it was in between Nordstroms and Macy's! So we parked of course on the opposite side of the mall and began to walk to OG. We finally found it! And walked in only find a million people in line waiting. One lady was a sleep on a step. So we left and finally found a California pizza kitchen. By the time we finally got to eat it had been 3 hours since we started our journey for food. And a couple miles in walking.
Not what I had planned but filled with so many memories and lots and lots of laughs! I'm thankful our husbands put up with our anxiety attacks and lack of organization. Dustin was so patient and loving the whole trip. I am a blessed women. 

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

My first half marathon

I did it! I ran my first half marathon.
13.1 miles!
The morning came quickly, I didn't sleep much. I got up at 3:09am and started to get ready!
I was a little surprised how excited I was. But I seriously couldn't wait to get out the door and to the starting line.
Sarah (my running buddy), April (my big sister) and I all had different corrals assignments. So we wanted to stay together so we went into Aprils corral E. It would be the last corral to go!
We had a long wait before it was our turn to go! And it was cold but I was so ready!
Finally we got to the starting line
And we were off and on a good pace. It felt so good. It was so fun! We ran the first couple miles under 10 min miles. I knew all the training had paid off and maybe just maybe we'd met my goal of 2:30!
We ran through CA. Adventure and thought it was so awesome that they had all the rides lights on and a lot of the rides going!
Then it was off across the way to Disneyland. I was SO EXCITED! I knew the moment I had been waiting for was coming soon. To run through the castle! Why I was so excited for that short little moment I wasn't sure but either way it was my highlight.
It came and the girls let me stop for like 30 seconds to take a couple quick pics

My phone sucks but I'll take the pics anyways!
I put my hands up as I ran through and it really was just something magical for me.
We were approaching mile six and running through downtown Disney when the discomfort started.
My tailbone and my IT band on my right leg were starting to bother me. And then I remember my Motrin sitting at the hotel that I had forgotten to take!!
Yes of all days that's the day I forget to take it!
But I thought it's not to bad I can run on this I'm almost half way done anyways!
We took a quick potty break and stopped by the medical station for some bio freeze for my leg and body glide because I was chaffing. I didn't see the Motrin they had or else of course I would have taken it!
The second half of the marathon was pretty much a disaster.
My I.T. Band kept getting tighter and tighter and my tailbone was sending spasms up my back!
But I had set a goal to run the whole race and by gosh that's what I was gonna do.
Unfortunately the pain was getting intense. So much that with every step of my right leg I was wincing.
My sister April and Sarah were ahead of me and I was trying with all my might to keep up with them but no matter how hard I pushed my body wouldn't go any faster.
They'd turn around and look at me and all I could do was smile trying to reassure them I wouldn't give up.
We hit Mile 9 and my emotions started to get the better of me. I was so disappointed in how this was turning out. We were running about a 15/16 min pace by that point.
I was running and little old ladys were walking past me!
I had trained for so long and for so hard and I was angry!
I so wanted April and Sarah to just go on with out me. I knew they could still get in under 3 hours.
But neither one would leave me behind. They'd slow down for me, walk next to me, ask me if I was ok, encourage me to take breaks if I needed them. I could tell they were disappointed too and that was hard for me. To be the one hindering others from doing great.
I could see mile 10 when tears started to come. I was in so much pain. And then I saw it a medical stand. I got some more bio freeze and some Motrin. Walked for a second and then we were off again.
I had decided I was gonna finish this thing as strong as I could.
The Motrin kicked in by the time we reached mile 11 and by no means took away the pain but took the edge off the spasms and sharp pain.
We were back inside/behind CA adventure and had to run down a steep hill. IT HURT! I thought it would feel good but it sucked so we had to walk down most of it. Then Sarah looked at me and I said lets run and she asked if I was sure and I yelled "I'm finishing this damn thing! I'm running!" She then yelled "Let's do this! We're AMAZING!" We had a good laugh and kept on running. Then once we ran up the steep hill Sarah pointed this girl out to me

Yes she has a broken leg or foot whatever and is running! Not only running but ahead of me and I couldn't catch her.
Sarah then looked at me and told me in a very loving way to suck it up!
She was right no more feeling sorry for myself. We were so close to the finish line.
We turned the corner to mile 13 and that's when I saw my hubby with our camera!
I was so excited to see him. And he had the biggest smile on his face and looked so proud of me. I choked back my tears and got super excited!

This was right at mile marker 13. We only had .1 to go....
I had joked with Sarah that at that point I'd be sprinting to win haha. Well I tried and didn't go any faster. We had a good laugh!
And as I crossed that finish line I was flooded with so many emotions!
I was so beyond excited to be DONE! So proud to say that I had done it! I RAN an entire half marathon. But I was still overcome with so much disappointment at our time 3:17 and the way the second half of the race went down. At that moment I wasn't sure I'd wanna ever do this again.
We got our medals!
We were exhausted!
 But still so excited! We had done it! TOGETHER! We were team AMAZING!
I was so happy and blessed to be able to share this experience with my sister. She was so supportive and encouraging the whole race. She sang and danced and never left me to far behind.
 I was glad I got to share this with such an awesome and supportive friend. She made me laugh when I wanted to cry and never made me feel bad for sucking! But gave me a good yelling at to encourage me when I needed it. Like I said above I wasn't sure if I'd ever wanna do this again but after talking to her the next day we're gonna kill the next half we do together in June! Go team AMAZING
Me and my baby! Let me just spend a minute here to tell you how amazing he was. He put up with my panic attack the day before at the expo (that's another story), he never once got frustrated or irritable as many events didn't go as planned and took forever just to EAT DINNER!
He told me he was proud of me! He woke up early and had to walk pretty far to take pictures of me at the finish line. He never once complained about a thing. He packed up our entire room cause I couldn't move after. And he let me sleep the whole way home. He is my AMAZING and supportive husband. I love you Dustin
I can't wait for my next half. And to kill my time by at least a half hour!