Friday, May 18, 2012

Letting go....

God has been making his voice loud and clear to me lately. And the message is.


If you know me, you know I like to be in control. I like things planned and like everything to go as planned and run smoothly.

I HATE change. I just hate it. Even good change stresses me out.

But right now in my life is a season for change. Good change I think (hope)

I have been working 10 hours a week since Sept. I was hating every minute of it. It's been hard. My heart is at home with my babies. But lately while I've been there I felt a change start to shift. I absolutely hate leaving my children but once I'm there I feel like I'm making a difference and really shining. Hard to explain.

Anyways so BAM! Outta the blew last Friday I get a text offering me a weekend job! It's an admission/marketing position. Sat and Sun!

I of course was like heck no! I don't wanna double my hours but then it just made since. Dustin would be with our babies, they wouldn't be with sitters twice a week. I would still be able to go to church with them. The pay and perks are gonna be N I C E

We prayed about for a day and night and I accepted the job. That day I mourned my old life that I knew and loved and longed for.  Everyday with my kids. Nothing but playdates and freedom! Family weekends.

That's when I saw this quote...

So tomorrow I start this new life. I've been praying praying and praying and God just keeps telling me to let it all go. He's got a plan for my life that is better than the one I had planned.

The song above has come on almost every time I get in my car. And it pretty much sums up my feelings so perfectly.

Dustin put in his two weeks at his job that he's been at for I think about 6 years now. It was hard on him. He has great relationships with everyone there and is leaving on fabulous terms. He has accepted a job that is completely out of his comfort zone, and will be learning this new career from scratch. But I think he will flourish in this new role and will end up loving it and being blessed by it.

But never the less it's scary stuff! He got offered the job yesterday and the pay was about $3 an hour less than what we were expecting. I flood of panic started to wash over me. Are we making a mistake? Is this a sign? Should he back out of it now and stay at his current job?

I had to really check myself and just stop and pray.

But again God shows me through his word:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.         Romans 8:28

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.         Philippians 4:6

We believe this our the path God has laid out for our lives right now. And we are taking that step of faith and trusting God will continue to provide for us and our children.

I am moved by Gods provision, mercy, love, grace, and patience with me. I am letting it go to Him!

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